Monthly Archives: July 2016

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Forgiveness

I was recently reminded about the need for forgiveness. Have you ever been in one of those situations where as soon as you opened your mouth and the words came flying out you knew you had made a mistake? A BIG mistake! This recently occurred with our sons. There is a seven year age gap between our two young men. (Why seven years you may be asking yourself? Because they call it labor for a reason! Giving birth is no day at the beach.)

For the most part, the two have always gotten along. More like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with one getting into mischief and the other following along.  Through the years they have had their share of loud disagreements and an occasional shoving match. As a parent, especially, a mom, you are always wrong no matter what side you come down on and as much as possible you try to stay neutral so that you are not accused of loving one child more than the other.

Children, whether young or old can not phantom how a parent can love them equally and completely with all their complications, disagreements, and occasional disrespectfulness. I too, remember telling my mother she loved my sister far more than she loved me. Yes, I went through my insecure years as well. I’m sure my mother probably called me a brat on more than one occasion, but she never called me this to my face.

Hence, with my two young men, I understand their disagreement got ugly to the point of both of them storming out of the house. I was not present for the battle, but from hearing both sides of the story; truly ugly and hurtful things were said. No one can cause pain like that of a loved one because they know which buttons to push. In the wake of this battle, parents are left to pick up the pieces and send up prayers that you have raised them right. Trusting in the fact that they know how much you love them and that down the road they will remember how much they love each other. I have heard too many times about siblings that have gone for years holding a grudge against each other only to get to the end of their lives and not even remember what the disagreement was about. Think of the wasted years and the memories not shared. Because neither wanted to be the first to say, “I was wrong,” or simply “I love you.”   

To my two amazing sons, remember this; Life is short, family is precious, memories are to be kept and love is to be treasured. The bond of siblings may be tested, but they should never be broken.  When I think about forgiveness I turn to my Bible and the following verses from the book of Matthew: 6:14-15 – (14) For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

References for Matthew 6:14

15) But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” 

 We all make stupid, reckless statements and impulsive decisions. Those times are not our fineness hours nor are they the sum of the relationships that we have built. Our lives are made much richer by those that we call family, friend, brother, sister, spouse and parents. Those are the binds that should last throughout our lives.

#FamilyTies #Forgiveness #LoveOneAnother     


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You know when it’s working and when it’s not

Most couples enjoy spending time together. So unless your spouse is in the military and serving their country overseas (thank you for your service) you should be spending quality time together. This is time that should be important to the both of you. If this time together is not important to both of you, then the handwriting is beginning to appear on the wall and you need to pay attention. Those things that we value are where we tend to put our time, energy and effort.

Chauffeuring the children around together, although necessary, is not quality time together – it’s mommy and daddy time.  Start to think of your marriage as a lifetime investment; the more that you pour into it the more that it will yield just like a bank account. You wouldn’t open a checking account and not make regular deposits, check on the interest rate, or review the daily activities on that account to ensure that there is no fraudulent activity. If you can give your money that kind of respect and attention; why would you not give your most valuable asset that same kind of attention?

Couples who echo the sentiment that “I didn’t know my spouse felt that way” or “that they were unhappy” had to have seen some warning signs. The truth of the matter is they were just too involved with the busyness of life or other things to pay attention to the erosion that was occurring within their relationship. We tend to devote our time and energy to the things that are closest to our heart whether that is the pursuit of money, our job, friends, sporting events and other social obligations. The spouse God so lovingly chose for you should only take a backseat to God. You have heard me say before that a good marriage takes three; you, your spouse and God. That does not mean the various obligations that you have within your church or community should keep you from spending quality time together with your spouse.

The reality is that your spouse needs to feel like an important part of your world. This cannot be accomplished if the two of you become polite strangers living under the same roof. One of the best ways to honor God is to honor your spouse. Speak lovingly to your spouse, spend time with each other, and communicate honestly in a non-critical or accusatory manner.

Enjoy doing the little things together which will pay huge dividends
in your relationship. Go grocery shopping and hold hands, listen to music that brings back special memories and feelings, take a walk, play a board game or while the children are in school, take a longer lunch break and catch a movie. Take the time to make the time for the most important asset that you have – each other!

That’s when you know it’s working!

#WorkTogerther            

 


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The Legend of Tarzan

The Legend of Tarzan, despite starring Alexander Skarsgard, who was excellent in True Blood and Samuel L. Jackson (who among us was not happy when Samuel’s character finally got his comeuppance in Django Unchained?) was not on my summer movie viewing list. Imagine my surprise when while on vacation in Myrtle Beach with my husband, sister and brother-in-law that the opportunity to catch a movie arose.

To be fair, my husband and I had selected the activity for the previous day so it was only right that my sister and her husband should have the opportunity to choose the movie. My brother-in-law mentioned two movies, neither of which I wanted to see, Tarzan being one of the two (the other movie shall remain nameless because I still don’t want to see it).  And in truth, The Legend of Tarzan only won this time because of the availability in our schedules and its starting time.

So armed with my resolve to suffer through the movie and take a nap, if necessary, we headed off to see what I was sure to be a waste of time and money. And just to make sure my initial impression from the trailer viewed was correct, I took to the internet to read the reviews. For the most part, the reviews were unfavorable. Don’t you just love those moments when you are patting yourself on the back for being correct?

In this case, that pat on the back soon turned into a slice of humble pie.  I’m not a movie critic, and for me a movie should entertain you and invoke an emotional response. The Legend of Tarzan delivered both of theses in spades.  This Tarzan keeps to the historical depiction of a child raised with wilds animals.  Because of his tough formative years he develops an understanding and a respect for the animals, the Congo and its people. He knows about hardship, pain, suffering and classism. After all, being raised by the Apes with the obvious differences that exist between him and his adoptive mother and brother makes him an outcast in their world. Yet the young boy adapts. Yes, the movie is dark, but it has a good story-line which tells the tale of a child raised in the wild, his struggles to survive and to grow into the man, the legend that is Tarzan.

Then to add to the already impressive cast is Margot Robbie’s depiction of Jane Porter. This Jane is no damsel in distress, but rather a thinking, strong -willed and independent woman who is cable of taking care of herself and surviving the dangers of the Congo. Together, the cast brings to life the story of survival, loss, love, greed, loyalty and revenge.

So, to my brother-in-law, I say thank you for selecting a movie that was not on my radar, but one in which I thoroughly enjoyed. This is a movie that I would recommend to my friends and family and yes, even add it to my movie collection.